I need good and decent people structured with G-d - and with love and feelings. They should never be people that sneak around on a computer or in hotel rooms. I need to teach my kids to be honorable people. What did you ever give me other then a quick high and less money? NOTHING!! All that surrounds me, is exactly what I need True love of a spouse Honest loyalty from my kids Gratitude from my friends. I need to feel loved and welcomed for who I am. I don't miss the thought in the back in my head, "what if my wife finds out?" And I especially don't miss the times where I would bounce from one form of the addiction to another, suddenly discovering that my entire day was gone. I don't miss the lies to myself and to everyone around me. I do not need the hours of looking at porn nor those sick encounters, to function. But life is reality, for good and for bad. All it does is give me a way to escape reality. Being with you doesn't give me a great feeling. Most of all, I have pride on how I should act. Life is a better high then anything I used to do in watching or participating with someone that only wants to take my money. I was sick to use you the way I did, but I didn't know that at the time.
You, my past, are like a bad girlfriend that you start out liking how she makes you feel, but after a while you truly understand that she is causing you to go insane. Goodbye to the hotel rooms, the text messages, the emails, the websites and most of all, to the evening ladies. I have found something better to spend my time on: LIFE. In my mind you were a toy, and now that I grew up I do not need toys. But all you were was a crutch to help me get to the next moment of desire. I thought you were my water and sustenance, which would drive me through every problem I had. Yes, you are tempting and sometimes extremely desirable, but that is not what I need.
I don't resent you, for you are not where the fault lies. I thought you and I were joined at the hip and never going to split, but this is my goodbye to you. It has been time to write this for a while, and we have been on a break here for some time.
0 kommentar(er)
